The Lizbeanism Philosophy

30 Rock has taken over my life.
Help, I'm stuck in a Korean 30 Rock quote factory!

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Story about a boy named Ellen
First name Kenneth
Last name Parcell ♪

6x01 Sneak Peek #2: How Liz spent her Christmas. Jack knows almost everything.

lisoah:

So, people. This is my first video, first vlog. Please, take a look, comment and so on. Well, you know what to do, right? Reblog this? xD. Come on, help a sister out! I mean, I don’t know if I’ll keep doing this but I kinda like it? Anyway. PLEASE WATCH IT!!

Also, don’t make fun of my accent. I’m just a half Brazilian half French girl.

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LIVE! with Regis and Kelly - Jane Krakowski | August 19th, 2011 
DOWNLOAD HERE

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Weinerslav: All righty. Let’s just dive on in;

• Does the employee spend an inordinate amount of time in the employer’s office compared to other employees?

Jack: Well, yes, I suppose. But only because Miss Lemon is incapable of doing anything on her own.

Liz: Oh, please, half the time when I go up there, it’s to help you choose a tie and they’re all red or blue.

Jack: Where I come from, if you have more than two colors on a tie, it means you’re looking for a certain kind of bar.

• Are all workday conversations business-related or do personal issues often dominate discussion? Including but not limited to; mothers, diarrhea, having babies, problems in the bedroom, neckties, food issues, foot disorders, having it all…

Jack: Okay. Yes. In the past, we have advised each other.

Liz: For instance, Jack taught me not to wear tan slacks with a tan turtleneck. I thought it looked nice, but he rightly pointed out that it made me look like a giant condom.

Jack: And Lemon is the only one of my subordinates who’s not afraid to warn me when I’m being too authoritative or handsome.

Liz: Or when you have eye boogers.

• Have you spent time with each other’s families?
• Have you attended special events together, such as class reunions, birthday or holiday celebrations, weddings or extended car trips?
• Are you each other’s emergency contacts?
• Do you ever drink together at work, perhaps while summarizing what you’ve learned over the day or week?
• Have you shared intimate details of your fears, hopes and dreams, both personal and professional?
• Is this the longest and perhaps most meaningful relationship in your life?
• Do you often find yourselves thinking the same thing and then saying it at the exact same time?

Jack: I apologize, Lemon. 

Liz: I’m sorry, Jack. I never should have tried to blackmail you. I’ll sign the papers.

Jack: And I shouldn’t have threatened your show. I’ll leave that to the parental decency groups. And I’ll back off on the budget and the bat mitzvahs.

Weinerslav: Okay. Now we’re gonna do word association. Foreplay…

Jack: We’re done, Weinerslav. … Uh, try to walk like a woman, Lemon.

Liz: Your fly’s open, Jack.